'We aren't the problem': Family members accused of always being late, insist they will be on time, malicious compliance ensues

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 25, 2023 2:00 PM EST

Rallying family members for group gatherings can take more mental energy than taxes, apartment hunting, and scheduling your next doctor appointment combined. Everyone has that one family member who makes planning these kinds of social occasions way more difficult than it needs to be. It's like rallying a whole troop of soldiers, except really you're just rallying one infuriating human who has no regard for other people's time and schedules. I'm all for moving at your own pace, but not at the expense of literally everyone else in the family.

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  • 01
    "Ferry nice to see you ENY WATERWAL
    via Maxwell Ridgeway

  • This thread was posted to Reddit's r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit by u/happyscatteredreader, whose aunt and uncle were the difficult ones in the family. OP and his other family members found a clever workaround, which was to inform their aunt and uncle that every gathering was an hour earlier than it actually was. Eventually, they caught on and insisted that the next time, they would like to be given the same time as everyone else. They insisted that they were not the problem. Well, OP's side of the family took the opportunity to test their theory by setting up a family trip to the UK via ferry with a strict departure time for 8:00 am. Now, as OP writes, “the ferry waits for no man,” so you can just imagine what happened next. 

    Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the fallout. When you're done, check out this list of job fails from folks who had literally just one job to do. 

  • 02
    Tell us the right time! м ос For many years, my family would take trips with other family members. All of these trips had one thing in common, my Aunt, Uncle and cousins would be late for everything. This used to really irritate my parents who are pretty punctual and a lot more kids to organise (4 of us) compared to my 2 cousins.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 03
    By mutual agreement, any other family involved in these outings decided to go along with my parents give Aunt and Uncle the wrong time. For example, if an event started at 11am, they'd be told 10am. This was pretty effective until Aunt and Uncle started realising they were being given the wrong time. I believe other family members explained why that was and that they were fed up with always waiting on them or being late.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 04
    Self awareness not being very apparent that they were the issue, it was decided by them that it wasn't their fault and they told my parents "Give us the right time from now on and you'll see, we aren't the problem!" My parents (especially my Mam) hates the idea of people missing out on something but is also prepared to let a natural consequence occur if its not too harsh.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 05
    The very next week we had a day trip booked on the ferry. This was something we did once a year, over to the UK and back in one day. Fondly known as a "booze cruise" back in the day due to the opportunity to purchase cheap alcohol. Kids would explore the ship and when we docked, raid the pick n mix in Woolworths and buy confection that we couldn't get at home. It was something everyone looked forward to a lot (what can I say, it was the early 90s)
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 06
    With the best will in the world, the ferry waits for no man. So it was a sad day for 4 people who were told the ferry left at 8am sharp (the correct time) and who arrived after 8.30 to see a small, ferry shaped speck in the distance, heading towards the UK.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 07
    Sadly, it didnt make them anymore punctual after that but they were always told the correct time as requested and if they were late, we didn't wait anymore. For months, whenever we'd see them after that, my parents used to cheerily wave and say "Ferry nice to see you"
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 08
    U iamnogoodatthis · 9 hr. ago Love it! My parents had the problem that one set of grandparents was always late, and one set was always early. One Christmas, they were told to arrive at 10:30 and 11:30 respectively, and both arrived at 11 on the dot, exactly as desired!
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 09
    LindonLilBlueBalls. 5 hr. ago I had to talk to my parents about that. They would always arrive at our house 15 minutes before anything scheduled. Whether it was a dinner or birthday party, they would inevitably show up while we were still getting ready. After the talk the started showing up right on the dot. I suspect there is a lot of sitting and waiting in the car.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 10
    Nope_thank you - 9 hr. ago "Ferry nice to see you" Savage and appropriate! I could travel with you lot :)
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 11
    happyscatteredreader OP 8 hr. ago . Thatt depends, can we trust you with the correct time :)
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 12
    GirlStiletto 6 hr. ago I had a SIL who was like this. And her family put up with it. Once my partner and MIL were living with me, my SIL (who soimetimes had to take the bus) was given a 15 minute window. After that, events went on. This was back when the only cell phones were big clunky things or bag phones, so communication was still by landline.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 13
    She was late to a few holidays, but that didn't matter. Then there was the day we were going to the lake for the day. She came in by bus from out of town (she lived 30 miles away). We told her to be there by noon. At 12:30 I got everyone in the van and we left.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 14
    She showed up to our house about 1:30 to find the place locked up. Sat outside until we came back at 6:30. This happened one more time and then she started showing up on time.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 15
    dertwo 9 hr. ago The strangest thing is that they never even learnt their lesson. Unfortunately, I don't think that there are pills for that.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 16
    happyscatteredreader OP . 8 hr. ago They are still as bad! Whenever we have family meet ups they always the last to arrive. My aunt and uncle ate divorced and they still.manage to, separately be very late!
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 17
    Infamous-Ad-5262. 6 hr. ago I've been called times. If I schedule anything, I expect everyone to be on time, which means 5 minutes many early. At go time, we start. That means leaving my daughter at home to miss her soccer game. It means ordering food, etc... only needed to follow through a few times and everyone understands to be on time.
    via u/happyscatteredreader
  • 18
    For me, being on time is an absolute disrespect thing. You don't respect me if you don't respect my time. Yes, there are exceptions- car issues, road closures due to major wrecks, etc... but they would be the exception, not common.
    via u/happyscatteredreader

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family drama malicious compliance malicious-compliance-reddit entitled family reddit thread Reddit malicious compliance reddit entitled people
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